A cala lily with rain drops.
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Cala Lily in the Morning | March 2016 | Copyright 2016

05/08/2016

Itís Mother’s Day. It has been roughly six months since my Mom passed away. I never knew I could possibly miss one person so much. She made me crazy and I loved her.

My life has become a comical stereotype of grief. I go through my days smiling and laughing, but inside I’m torn apart, irritable and angry. When I’m finally alone, when no one is demanding my time or attention, I’ll think of something mundane, like how my Mom brushed her teeth, and I’ll burst into tears while brushing my own. Last week I got sad while doing my laundry, because Mom always used a certain type of detergent, and I suddenly wanted to ask her WHY, and to tell her that Iím really not convinced thereís anything special about OxyClean at all.

Through it all I keep going. I keep running the dishwasher and going to work and thinking about how ridiculous it is that I even bother with day-to-day tasks when the single most consistent and solid person in my world is no longer of this world. The funny thing is, slogging through and showing up for life is exactly what she would have done. It’s what she did. I learned from the best.

Miss you Mommerz.


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